How a spiderweb helped me understand how meditation works for emotions

TRANSCRIPTION FROM VIDEO:

Today I want to share some realization after meditating for awhile and also learning more and more about meditation practices.

So, before I knew about mindfulness and meditation things, I assumed that all these meditation teachers, you know the gurus and stuff, they’re like all Zen out, is blissed all the time, don’t feel any anger they’re just like super Zen.

And that might not be the case, turns out!

One meditation teacher I started to listen to a bit more is Dr. Tara Brach. She’s a Buddhist meditation teacher, and also a clinical psychologist.

She told a story where she was doing her morning walk. And she’s all like, “Oh this river is so beautiful, and it’s so serene, the scene was so nice. The weather was perfect. The birds are chirping.” And she’s having this, you know, gorgeous time.

And, suddenly, she walks into a spiderweb. 🕸

You would think this Zen…she’s very like this Zen, grandmotherly, motherly, super chill when you listen to her voice, it just makes everything feel nicer. So you think she’d be super calm.

But no!

Basically she walked into this spiderweb, and, I’m pretty sure she swore, but she was super pissed at a stupid web!

So there’s a huge contrast between how Zen she was and how she was explaining how pissed off she was at this spiderweb that kind of ruined her morning, her perfect morning.

But the thing was that she was able to recognize what’s happening, her emotional reaction, and bring herself back to her centered, cultivated calm, and contentment quicker.

So, meditating for a long time doesn’t mean you erase all human emotion and become this blissed out person.

It’s actually that when you do feel emotion that may not be as productive, you are aware of it quicker and quicker, and also able to bring yourself back to where you want to be, or where you want to feel quicker.

So that was my aha moment of oh, somehow I thought there’s no way I can ever get rid of all my emotions from the inside.

Turns out you don’t! And it’s okay to have human emotions!

It’s that you get to choose. And you have way more power to decide in the moment,

“Okay do I want to keep up with this anger and annoyance? Or, you know what, that was a hilarious moment in my life. Kind of zoom out, you know? I’m this super Zen teacher, and I walked through the spiderweb, and I’m still pissed off. So oh, I’m gonna use this story in my teachings of how the human condition works.”

And she went back to be her Zen bliss self, and she kind of laughed it off, and then kept walking.

It was a cultivated skill that she learned. She was not a calm person to begin with.

That’s actually why…I think that’s why she actually started meditating and exploring that area, because she wanted to cultivate more peace in her life.

So her nature was to get annoyed easily actually, and she was able to quicker and quicker, get back to how she wants to feel.

If today something happens to you, you may be pissed off all day, and it ruins your whole day.

Then the more you can do the mindfulness practice, it becomes maybe like, five hours, then becomes maybe an hour, then 30 minutes, then 20 minutes.

Eventually, you might become like her, where it takes maybe a few seconds to realize what’s happening, snap yourself out of it, and go straight back to the calmness that you’ve been cultivating.

So it’s definitely a skill that can be learned. It takes time, takes practice, but it’s doable and it’s possible!

Originally published on www.drpylin.com/blog on May 4, 2021.